Excerpt: An Expanded Love

26th February 2011

Excerpt: An Expanded Love

Time swept forward. My life before with Jason crept into my memory. He hadn’t been a bad man, but his controlling nature was something I hated; being questioned whenever I came home was never pleasant, but then neither was losing friends because he’d made it difficult for them to be close to me. I was supposed to be his lady; someone who shouldn’t need anything else but what he gave me. My mind twirled images together. I wondered what it would be like to lie in bed sleeping with Jason on one side, and Christine on the other. I breathed out long and slow. Could I really love more than one person at the same time, or was I just fooling myself?

It was a struggle to fit into the normal, real world. My old fantasies surfaced throughout the course of the next few days. I dreamt of living in a big house with four others, all of us cooking, laughing and having a great time together. In my dream there were two women and two men. Everyone got down to business with everyone else. I awoke with my hands between my legs three days in a row. I was turned on beyond hope.

Sunday came too soon. I took a bendy bus to Holborn. The vehicle snaked around the corner near Red Lion Square. Alongside the ever-moving crush of shoppers and tourists lay another set just down a little side street. I saw the squirming group of people all doggedly avoiding having to look at each other, yet I saw glances, quick sideways looks even from my distance. I walked around Red Lion square once, watched the people through the filter of green leaves from the bushes as I strode by. Eventually I made my way down to the pub that would hold the event, stepping over the legs of what I thought to be a tramp.

A young man was drawing on the pavement with chalk. He looked up and smiled at me as I admired his work.

“Sacred spirals,” he said. Colourful circles decorated the stone beneath my feet.

“It’s very pretty.” I made another step away but he knelt up, spreading his arms wide as he moved.

“Would you like a hug?”

I looked at him, confused. “What?”

“You look like you could use one.” Multiple silver earrings caught the light as the man inclined his head.

“I’m okay, thanks.” The strange man shrugged, and went back to his drawing. A clutch of people entered the pub ahead of me. I followed in their wake, noting a little sign that was taped up over the front door.

“Welcome to Polyday. Event starts at noon.”

“You’re here for Polyday?” The man looked different upright, with long legs, a baggy jumper and a big smile. I nodded, not trusting my voice to admit the truth even as I stood beneath the little sign. “Don’t worry. I had a great time last year. I’m Sam by the way.” He held out his chalk-dusty hand. I shook it after a moment’s hesitation.

“Nadia.”

“So, Nadia, what got you interested in the lifestyle?”

“I don’t know,” I mumbled. “How about you?” I wasn’t expecting questions at this event.

“My girlfriend was poly like when we met. She gave me her girlfriend for the night on my birthday,” he said with a grin. “Couldn’t do a bloody thing. Talk about performance pressure.”

“What?” I almost spluttered. “Really?” I tried to sound cool.

“Your girlfriend’s girlfriend?”

“Yeah, my metamour.”

“Meta…”

“Metamour. Not my paramour, but my metamour. My lover’s lover. She lives in the States.”

“Right.” I couldn’t understand why he was talking to me.

“So how many partners do you have?” Sam’s brown eyes twinkled.

“None,” I said quickly.

“Oh, a newbie. We’ll soon change that.”

“I’m not new to this.” Something in his tone of voice irritated me.

The door to the main bar opened at that moment. Sam held his hand out.

“Welcome to a whole new world.”